Here's an article I wrote for Bob From Accounting, back when it looked to me like they'd never find Saddam. They found him right about the time I finished writing this, so it never got used. Guess Bob's got some standards of accuracy or something. Does anyone else remember those doubles with the giant eyebrows?

Iraqi Child's Faith In Saddam Hussein Wavers

Little Gom Jabbar Feyd-Rautha Rabban experienced his first serious doubts
about the existence of Saddam Hussein yesterday, after pulling the mustache
off of one of Saddam's doubles.

Gom's mother, Sayyadina Quizara Tafwid, was quick to reassure him that
although the look-alike in question is not the real Hussein, he really is
one of "Saddam's helpers."

The incident occurred yesterday at a Baghdad mosque, where local parent's
take their children to meet Saddam and tell him what they want in the
afterlife.

"Little Gommy was very excited," Sayyadina reported, "He got a little keyed
up while we were waiting in line to sit on Saddam's lap."

When it was Gom Jabbar's turn to present "Hussein" with his list ("The
first three seasons of 'Kojak' on CD, an orchard of date palms, a disco
suit in my size, seventy-two black-eyed virgins, a Jihad Joe action figure,
and a drinking cup made from the skull of a Jew"), Gom got a little
rambunctious, and pulled off the double's false mustache and giant novelty
eyebrows.

"Ya hya chouhada!" exclaimed Gom Jabbar's father, Sardaukar Shai-Hulud,
when asked about the incident, "The boy didn't seem upset by the time I
talked to him, just a little confused. We had this whole cute little
discussion about the limits of the magical powers bestowed upon our beloved
leader by Allah. We decided that he can defeat any army of infidels
single-handed and make nerve gas disappear, but he is powerless against
sanctions and he can't be in more than one place at the same time."

For the time-being, any doubts that Gom Jabbar Feyd-Rautha Rabban may have
experienced have been laid to rest.

"Bi-la kaifa! I believe that Saddam Hussein lives and will triumph in the
end", said little Gom Jabbar, "For he IS the kwiszatz haderach!"