Thursday, January 18, 2007
That venerable fake news outlet, the Scallion, has stepped out on a
creative limb once again, when, for the nth time, it took the term
"irreverent humor" literally by photoshoping an image of the human
incarnation of the One True God of Israel into an incongruent, contemporary
setting and using it to illustrate an article in which tone was contrasted
with content in order to produce an overall quality of zaniness.
The side-spliting article, "Lamb Of God Enjoys Milkshake" risked alienating
the Scallion's largely Dutch Calvinist readership by flirting with, but
arguably not technically commiting, blasphemy. The gist of the story was
that the Risen and Ascended Saviour had returned to earth to purchase a
milkshake at a "local fast food restaurant", and that He had commented
favorably upon the beverage's flavor and texture.
"Yeah, the Jesus crap still seems to work pretty well," Freddy Neuwman, the
Scallion's Editor-in-cheif, told an interviewer. "We juxtapose Him with
something really prosaic, like Pringles or the Special Olympics, and it
never fails to reinforce our position on the cutting edge of formulaic,
"The best thing about Jesus," Neuman added, "Is that He is not litigious at
all. He's like the anti-Eisner."
According to some kid with a crucified Gumby hanging in his locker at
school, this type of humor is as big now as poopy jokes were a few years
"If you want to see where the comic vanguard is headed at any given time,
look no further than 'South Park'", Billy said, "And remember, Gumby died
for your sins."
"God's big mistake was taking on a tangible form", an anonymous theologan
told a reporter, "How could He not have anticipated this sort of thing?"
The immaterial essence of the abstract concept of God could not be reached
for comment at this time.