Thursday, October 06, 2005
How to blog like a girl:
1. Abuse.Full.Stops.For.Empha.Sis.
2. Prove things by asserting them and then saying PERIOD.
3. Remember, you have feelings that can be hurt by other people. I have a fragile male ego that you can wound. The latter is an heroic act that makes you pretty much Xena.
4. Be Catholic and/or Pagan. Do not acknowlege that there is any overlap between the two.
5. Define feminism in extremely broad terms of basic decency when you're talking about how reasonable it is. Define it in narrow, ideological terms when you are demanding that other people conform to it's taboos.
6. The perfect response to a statement that strikes you as misogynistic is to publicly prove that (at least in your case) it is true, by acting super-bitchy, irrational, emotional, obtuse, ignorant of math or WWII, etc.
7. Oh, what's the matter, is Daddy's little girl going to cryyyyyyy?
8. Quit your blog, every other weekend.
9. Get mad that people don't want to link to a blog that will be down in two weeks.
10. Bombard Dave with word salad, carefully avoiding articulating what you're so pissed off about in terms coherent enough for him to be able to remedy the situation.
11. Sexism is wrong, but the only reason for a man not to take your abuse (and call it ice cream) is that he's not getting any, probably because of failing to live down to the simian caricature of machismo demanded by whatever variation of biker paraphilia you're afflicted with.
12. Read "you're attactive" as "you possess no qualities other than physical attractiveness". Riff on that for about forty paragraphs.
13. Omit step two from a sylogism. Call people stupid for not getting it.
14. The fact that chocolate tastes good is HILARIOUS!!!
15. Start crap with people who usually agree with you over things they could not possibly have anticipated you taking offense at. Unreservedly accept the embrace of the paranoiac hippies who'll be calling you a fascist next week if you don't agree with them that it is immoral to let people keep their own stuff.
16. When your side fails to persuade bloodthirsty savages not to murder people, it's ENTIRELY the fault of people on your own side who worded their opposition harshly.
17. Post general cunninglingus advice that is so specific as to apply only to you, as a favor to your male readers.
1. Abuse.Full.Stops.For.Empha.Sis.
2. Prove things by asserting them and then saying PERIOD.
3. Remember, you have feelings that can be hurt by other people. I have a fragile male ego that you can wound. The latter is an heroic act that makes you pretty much Xena.
4. Be Catholic and/or Pagan. Do not acknowlege that there is any overlap between the two.
5. Define feminism in extremely broad terms of basic decency when you're talking about how reasonable it is. Define it in narrow, ideological terms when you are demanding that other people conform to it's taboos.
6. The perfect response to a statement that strikes you as misogynistic is to publicly prove that (at least in your case) it is true, by acting super-bitchy, irrational, emotional, obtuse, ignorant of math or WWII, etc.
7. Oh, what's the matter, is Daddy's little girl going to cryyyyyyy?
8. Quit your blog, every other weekend.
9. Get mad that people don't want to link to a blog that will be down in two weeks.
10. Bombard Dave with word salad, carefully avoiding articulating what you're so pissed off about in terms coherent enough for him to be able to remedy the situation.
11. Sexism is wrong, but the only reason for a man not to take your abuse (and call it ice cream) is that he's not getting any, probably because of failing to live down to the simian caricature of machismo demanded by whatever variation of biker paraphilia you're afflicted with.
12. Read "you're attactive" as "you possess no qualities other than physical attractiveness". Riff on that for about forty paragraphs.
13. Omit step two from a sylogism. Call people stupid for not getting it.
14. The fact that chocolate tastes good is HILARIOUS!!!
15. Start crap with people who usually agree with you over things they could not possibly have anticipated you taking offense at. Unreservedly accept the embrace of the paranoiac hippies who'll be calling you a fascist next week if you don't agree with them that it is immoral to let people keep their own stuff.
16. When your side fails to persuade bloodthirsty savages not to murder people, it's ENTIRELY the fault of people on your own side who worded their opposition harshly.
17. Post general cunninglingus advice that is so specific as to apply only to you, as a favor to your male readers.
