Saturday, October 22, 2005
1.It's not really a riot if you call it a protest.
2. Appeal to #1 makes assault and arson into protected forms of free speech.
3. The only thing more loathsome than hippies and Krouts is Krout hippies.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Man, I forgot how hard Burger Time is.
*Technical blogger term for "thing".
Friday, October 14, 2005
JUDGE PRISCILLA OWEN
U.S. Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit, appointed by
G.W. Bush, 50 years old
Filibustered by Senate Democrats when nominated to
the federal bench, Owen is a former Texas
Supreme Court judge regarded as "far right
wing" by liberals. But who isn't! A
member of the Federalist Society. (Psycho
music) Sen. Reid has already said he would
filibuster her nomination to SCOTUS.
New World Man presents: My favorite candidate for the Supreme Court
brought to you by Quizilla
I thought I was more of a Janice Rogers Brown man, but that's probably just due to sexism somehow. Just spent an absurd amount of time looking for a funny picture of Wanda Sykes to go with those links, but apparently the woman isn't even funny enough to be photographed in a T-shirt with a joke on it or anything.
I hearby propose a deal between those who chill and those of us who breathe through our noses. We'll concede that you're cooler than us if you concede that us nerds who've been doing all these dorky things like paying attention to the qualifications of judges and spazzing out about traditionally leftist arguments being employed to defend portraying a cypher as a Constructionist while you were off chillin' and getting laid, might concievably have gleaned some valuable insights from our anorak meditations. Also, you have to stop telling bloggers that they need to get a hobby, what do you think their blog is?
Friday, October 07, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
2. Prove things by asserting them and then saying PERIOD.
3. Remember, you have feelings that can be hurt by other people. I have a fragile male ego that you can wound. The latter is an heroic act that makes you pretty much Xena.
4. Be Catholic and/or Pagan. Do not acknowlege that there is any overlap between the two.
5. Define feminism in extremely broad terms of basic decency when you're talking about how reasonable it is. Define it in narrow, ideological terms when you are demanding that other people conform to it's taboos.
6. The perfect response to a statement that strikes you as misogynistic is to publicly prove that (at least in your case) it is true, by acting super-bitchy, irrational, emotional, obtuse, ignorant of math or WWII, etc.
7. Oh, what's the matter, is Daddy's little girl going to cryyyyyyy?
8. Quit your blog, every other weekend.
9. Get mad that people don't want to link to a blog that will be down in two weeks.
10. Bombard Dave with word salad, carefully avoiding articulating what you're so pissed off about in terms coherent enough for him to be able to remedy the situation.
11. Sexism is wrong, but the only reason for a man not to take your abuse (and call it ice cream) is that he's not getting any, probably because of failing to live down to the simian caricature of machismo demanded by whatever variation of biker paraphilia you're afflicted with.
12. Read "you're attactive" as "you possess no qualities other than physical attractiveness". Riff on that for about forty paragraphs.
13. Omit step two from a sylogism. Call people stupid for not getting it.
14. The fact that chocolate tastes good is HILARIOUS!!!
15. Start crap with people who usually agree with you over things they could not possibly have anticipated you taking offense at. Unreservedly accept the embrace of the paranoiac hippies who'll be calling you a fascist next week if you don't agree with them that it is immoral to let people keep their own stuff.
16. When your side fails to persuade bloodthirsty savages not to murder people, it's ENTIRELY the fault of people on your own side who worded their opposition harshly.
17. Post general cunninglingus advice that is so specific as to apply only to you, as a favor to your male readers.