Thursday, July 29, 2004
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
I went looking for a transcript of that Babette the sex kitten Weekend Update bit about flying over France to bomb Libya, but the closest thing I could find was this:
Dennis Miller: The United States has long criticized France for its policy of selling arms to terrorist nations. We've been referring to French as a "nation of whores." But now, in the wake of the Iranian Arms Scandal, many feel that the U.S. owes the French an apology. Here with advice on how we can repair our damaged relations with France is international sex kitten, Babette.
Babette: Thank you very much. You know, if America wants to win back the French, they must remember that France is like a woman. And when a woman has been betrayed, he must know how to handle her. The American must be gentle. He must call her. "Hello, darling? Forgive me, I've been a fool." And the French will say, "How dare you call me after calling me a whore!" And the American will say, "No, I'm the whore! I'm a hypocrite." And the French will say, "I know, now goodbye." And the American will say, "Wait, wait! What about the flowers I sent?" And we will say, "I spit on your flowers!" And you will say, "But I worship you - I adore you. You are an angel." And we will say, "Yes, that's true. But you called me a whore!" And he will say, "Your legs are those of a goddess. Your lips are like wine. Your skin is like fine silk." And I will say, "I must go." And he will say, "How can you turn away from a man who lives only to look at you?" And I will say, "I don't know.." "A man who thinks you are as priceless as any art in the Louvre, as mysterious as the Mona Lisa." And I will say, "Yes!" And you will say, "You are so sensual, you should be wrapped in diamonds, and I will bite them off your body one by one." And I will say, "Yes! Do that!" And he wil say, "I must have you." And I will say, "Yes, you must!" And I will say, "Call me a whore!" And he will say, "What?" "I said, 'Call me a whore!' Say it!" He will say, "Alright, you're a whore!" "Yes! I'm a whore! I'm a whore! Take me!"
Dennis Miller: [ lights Babette's waiting cigarette ] Babette! Babette! Are you alright? Are you alright?
Babette: I'm very hot right now!
Dennis Miller: Thank you. Babette, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Friday, July 16, 2004
Smith is a villain? How come the guy trying to impose order is always the heavy?
(I'm actually nothing like this; whoever you are, you could beat me up. I do however, share his animus toward Gnostic Keanu.)