Happy Valentine's Day mofos. Here are a couple of links to some ladies with
nicer attitudes than the ones around here:

Not already mad at you before we've even met.

We wear skirts in order to look pretty.

Here is some filler material I wrote for my old 'zine, Parallax, when I was
wee. That was before I got bitter:

The Top 12 Things People Really Mean When They Say "I Love You"

- You should probably do me.
- I am playing the role assigned to me by society.
- I think you're stupid enough to buy this.
- Is this the kind of talk that gets you hot, or should I try being dirty?
- I'm not gonna pay a lot for this muffler!
- I am unable to perform sexually without pretending you are someone else,
who I happen to love.
- I am a wonderful person who's heart is filled with love.
- I want to have sex with you more than once.
- You need love so bad, you'll be really grateful.
- I'll bet you'll feel pretty guilty if you don't love me.
- Ooooo- baby, I just love parroting trite old song lyrics, yeah- yeah- yeah!!!
- Bend over.

Quote of the Moment ______________________________

"Consultants will ultimately recommend that you do whatever you're
not doing now. Centralize whatever is decentralised. Flatten
whatever is vertical. Diversify whatever is concentrated and divest
everything that is not 'core' to the business. You'll hardly ever find a
consultant who recommends that you keep everything the same and stop
wasting money on consultants. And consultants will rarely deal with the
root cause of your company's problems, since that's probably the person who
hired them."

- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle buy it.

Four new games for you -

Boys are stupid! Throw rocks at them!

I'm very good at this papist scum quiz. I only got two questions wrong.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Sneak up behind a German farmer, and pelt him with feces.

This game has Gamera in it, so how bad could it be? Parental guidance suggested.

This is a little old, but if falls so nicely within the purview of this blog that I've got to do it. Here's what Doonesbury had to say about John Kerry, The Manchurian Candidate, in 1971:

I had a chance to use my powers a few days ago when the girl who works at 7-11 tried to remember an 80s time-travel show called Voyagers! I remembered the name of it, of course, and that their time machine was called an Omni. You can get one from this guy. I ended up spending a difficult to justify amount of time researching this stuff online. I have learned so much these past few days! The grown up pirate guy was played by Jon-Erik Hexum, who's fans (unofficial motto: "God bless him for his physical beauty") call themselves hexnuts. He's the guy who accidentally killed himself playing with a prop gun loaded with blanks. In his defense, I don't believe it was common knowledge that you could die from that until he did. The kid was played by Meeno Peluci, the brother of Soleil Moon Frie (Punky Brewster). Here's some Voyagers fan fiction: To Sail Beyond The Sunset - Memories - The Doctor And Bogg - Everything Changes With Time. The last two stories feature characters from other shows; Dr. Who and General Hospital, respectively. I'm starting to freak out a little now. Somewhere, there's a man about my age named MEENO PELUCE.

Here's a transcript of that great "10 Myths" John Stossel report on 20/20, which may soon become "The John Stossel Show". The first page isn't that great, give it awhile.

At last I have proof that there was once a video game called Beezer! This was my favorite game at one time. I remember it played "The Flight of the Bumblebee". Apparently, it was manufactured by a southeast Asian crime syndicate (kidding).