\\\\\\\ The Democrats' Seven Deadly Lifestyle Choices ///////

ENVY: The cardinal political virtue. Transforms that fact that some people are more fortunate than others into an inexhaustible supply of perceived social injustices to be remedied politically.

GLUTTONY: 1. Compulsive behaviors caused by large corporations. Small corporations without deep pockets can no more be held responsible for gluttony than can individuals.
2. The shameful tendency of wealthy countries to consume goods and labor from poorer countries, thus destroying the ethno-spiritualy pure beauty of the native cultures by employing their people.

GREED: 1. Belief in absolute property rights; or, failure to recognize that since all cash is printed by the federal government, it belongs to the federal government, which allows the private sector to use it, but reserves the right to take it back at any time for any reason.
2. The wicked desire to keep one's own property, not to be confused with the righteous desire to take away other people’s property.

LUST: An excess of testicular humours excusable only in Heroes of the Workers' Struggle. Otherwise any evidence or accusations of such are grounds for lawsuits and firings.

PRIDE: Highly under-rated virtue. Welfare programs, for example, would not be politically feasible if they only bought the votes of welfare recipients; pride motivates wealthy people to identify themselves as superior to other wealthy people by vocally supporting such programs.

SLOTH: 1. Any non-blue collar labor. 2. The reason the masses refuse to rise up. 3. Perspiration aversion disorder. 4. The failure of illiterate people without cars to turn out to vote (see apathetic).

WRATH: The virtue that moves the masses to rise up against injustices like income tax cuts that disproportionately benefit the people with the most taxable income, property that disproportionately benefits those who own it, and discrepancies in natural endowments not rectified by law.