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Thursday, July 29, 2004

My favorite fiskings are the ones that take on a big soft target. You can be sure of making your point really well that way.

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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Dealing With France

I went looking for a transcript of that Babette the sex kitten Weekend Update bit about flying over France to bomb Libya, but the closest thing I could find was this:

Dennis Miller
: The United States has long criticized France for its policy of selling arms to terrorist nations. We've been referring to French as a "nation of whores." But now, in the wake of the Iranian Arms Scandal, many feel that the U.S. owes the French an apology. Here with advice on how we can repair our damaged relations with France is international sex kitten, Babette.

Babette: Thank you very much. You know, if America wants to win back the French, they must remember that France is like a woman. And when a woman has been betrayed, he must know how to handle her. The American must be gentle. He must call her. "Hello, darling? Forgive me, I've been a fool." And the French will say, "How dare you call me after calling me a whore!" And the American will say, "No, I'm the whore! I'm a hypocrite." And the French will say, "I know, now goodbye." And the American will say, "Wait, wait! What about the flowers I sent?" And we will say, "I spit on your flowers!" And you will say, "But I worship you - I adore you. You are an angel." And we will say, "Yes, that's true. But you called me a whore!" And he will say, "Your legs are those of a goddess. Your lips are like wine. Your skin is like fine silk." And I will say, "I must go." And he will say, "How can you turn away from a man who lives only to look at you?" And I will say, "I don't know.." "A man who thinks you are as priceless as any art in the Louvre, as mysterious as the Mona Lisa." And I will say, "Yes!" And you will say, "You are so sensual, you should be wrapped in diamonds, and I will bite them off your body one by one." And I will say, "Yes! Do that!" And he wil say, "I must have you." And I will say, "Yes, you must!" And I will say, "Call me a whore!" And he will say, "What?" "I said, 'Call me a whore!' Say it!" He will say, "Alright, you're a whore!" "Yes! I'm a whore! I'm a whore! Take me!"

Dennis Miller: [ lights Babette's waiting cigarette ] Babette! Babette! Are you alright? Are you alright?

Babette: I'm very hot right now!

Dennis Miller: Thank you. Babette, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

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Friday, July 23, 2004

I just noticed that I'm on Acidman's "Read Every Day" list, so I guess I'd better post something here for about every 12 comments I make elsewhere. So I'm linking to this amusing article, and also this other amusing thing.

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Friday, July 16, 2004

Finally one of these things matched me up with a character I can relate to:

Smith is a villain? How come the guy trying to impose order is always the heavy?

(I'm actually nothing like this; whoever you are, you could beat me up. I do however, share his animus toward Gnostic Keanu.)

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Sunday, July 11, 2004

If we can be arrested for "obstructing the sidewalk" then the First Amendment means nothing. Except, perhaps, what it says. Looking over the text, the chilling possibility presents itself that future courts might rule that rioting, looting, and arson do not constitute protected speech or peaceful assembly.

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Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Nothing a person can do turns my stomach quite like reminding me of myself at the age of fourteen, and no one weds so many of the right ideas to such eye-wateringly repellent personality disorders as a typical Objectivist. My last posting here concerned my first participation in the Carnival of the Capitalists, which concerned my first fisking, and which concerned Reganomics. Martin Lindeskog (EGOIST), while kind enough to include my piece, felt compelled to rebut it by linking to this irrelevant turd, which was laid upon Ronald Reagan's grave to call his cooling corpse to task for the grave offences of prioritizing national security objectives, not knowing the future, leading an assault on women's right to have their children's heads torn off (by appointing constructionists to the bench), and using the apparently obscene word "faith" to refer to the concept of faith. The author has no problem with Reaganomics, which was the subject of my post. He properly defines faith as belief without proof, then proceeds to denounce it as if it meant belief without evidence. I get the impression that if his father told him "I have faith in you, son." he'd punch him in the face. We get it, bitch, you think you don't believe in God. Now if you'd invest in a dictionary, maybe you wouldn't crap your pants every time a statesman reiterated what ought to be self-evident: That once a person, principle, or institution has demonstated itself worthy, it is appropriate to place a certain amount of faith in it. Looks like I'm going to have to do at least one more long Reagan post.

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